Holy COW!

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. I don’t know why she swallowed a fly. Perhaps she’ll die. There was an old lady who swallowed a cow… I don’t know how she swallowed a cow. Perhaps she’ll die. There was an old lady who swallowed a horse… she died of course.


I’ll tell you exactly how she swallowed a cow. She went to Rodizio Grill. I went there last night and definitely swallowed the equivalent of a cow. It all starts off with those small pieces of meat…about the size of a fly… then your plate just keeps piling up with more and more animal. Pretty soon your brain is screaming please, please stop before you kill us. I did listen to my brain’s cries and stopped before I ate the equivalent of a horse. I didn’t want to die. After Randy and I had finished every last ounce of protein in the entire restaurant, the waiter comes to our table and asks if we would like to have desert. I snickered under my breath and asked if anyone ever ordered desert. He said most people order it and take it home. Whew…. I thought I might have been the only one with NO self control. However, I did need a hoist with a hefty winch on it to get me out of there.

When I woke up this morning, I felt like a walking stick of butter. Even when I peed this morning is smelled like cellulite. So, I felt like it was my duty to go to the gym and make amends with my body for the terrible abuse I gave it last night. I probably only worked off the calories from the chicken heart that Randy MADE me eat. (It was disgusting. Not to offend anyone who thinks chicken hearts are a delicacy.) After seeing open heart surgery, I feel that body organs are not to be digested.

Isn’t the eating/exercising battle the pitts???