One really good day can make up for several really bad days

I REALLY struggle to ask for help. I have always felt like a very independent person. Growing up I always had a job, paid for my first car, my college education and found satisfaction in providing for myself and my family. I am sure when I was a toddler I used “I do it!!” frequently.

The last few months have been a really rough ride for me. Some of you know that I have struggled with my health. I will spare you the details because no one likes a bellyacher. I don’t mention this in my blog to generate pity or sympathy. I just want to give credit where credit is due. The last few weeks my health escalated into something I have never experienced in my life. My only option was to take a drug that spiraled my body into a wild range of side effects and unexpected circumstances. I felt desperate and scared. I made a difficult phone call to my mom. Not difficult because I didn’t think she was willing to help, but because she bends over backward for anyone’s aid. I literally sobbed to her on the phone… and she let me. She took care of me and my kids without skipping a beat. I appreciate it and love her for her empathy and understanding. I wish from the deepest part of my heart that she had my luxury. Unfortunately her mother passed away when she was 14. She didn’t have a mom to call when she felt overwhelmed, emotionally weighed down, or just plain angry. I am sad for her. I am one fortunate girl. Everyone deserves a mommy. I am so grateful for our almost daily conversations. It is nice to have someone to talk to.

I am generally a pretty private person. I do have a rationale for writing about this tender experience. I want to pay it forward. My hope is that one day my children with stumble upon my writings . I hope they read this and know that I want to be there for them too. I want to tell them that they don’t have to struggle on their own. I want to be a support to them. I want to help sustain them and buoy them up in time of need. IT IS OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP!!!


I feel much better now…

I have felt so good the last few days. It is nice to have myself back. Now that my feet are back on the ground, I feel like I can catch up with life again. I decided to celebrate Easter a little early. The kids and I dyed Easter eggs while we waited for daddy to get home from work. Claire made a disaster of a mess but it was worth seeing her silly grin. Brad worked like crazy getting every egg perfect. He was so proud that he could dye 10 eggs in the time it took Claire to do one. The next day we made Easter cookies for daddy’s employees at the bank. We got a fun Easter surprise from Nanny and Pappa who are on vacation for Easter. They LOVE packages.











The last two days have made up for EVERYTHING!! I love my kiddos. I am excited to have a nice quiet weekend at home with Randy and the kids. Happy Easter.